Five days before my birthday
This season has me using muscles I have never before used.
For the most part, I am tired. Right now, I’m finding myself looking for ways to make things work. I’m naturally not a problem-solver, but somehow my problem-solving skills are being sharpened.
I don’t know how to feel about it.
I’m happy about it, I guess? But I’m just mostly tired. I’m tired as I write this. I feel like I slew a dragon. Except there’s a few more dragons that need slaying.
Maybe I’m using the wrong analogy. I think it’s better to use muscles. I’m using muscles I’ve never before used–particularly, decision-making muscles, teamwork muscles, finding-solutions-to-problems muscles. I feel achy all over, obviously not in a physical sense, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
I feel like I’m being stretched, like I’ve never been stretched before.
This is a good thing, right? This should be a good thing. Admittedly, I’m trying my darndest to convince myself of it. I know this is a good thing. I just don’t feel it yet.
I just know at this point that I am where God wants me to be. I dare not assume otherwise—because difficulty is never indicative of not being in God’s will. If anything, the difficulty makes His glory be ever more known, because His grace is sufficient. I am sure as heck that I am where He wants me to be—He’ll say otherwise if I weren’t.
I had just recently solved a particularly challenging challenge. I’m not as techy as I think I am, but somehow, through experimentation, I uncovered a solution to the problem. I was elated when I did, and it dawned on me that truly, God makes a way where there seems to be no way.
I can never take credit for any good that He brings about through this situation, because it’s His sovereign hand that makes things happen. At the end of the day, it isn’t about me. It’s about Him, and what He’s doing, and what He wants to do and accomplish in me and through me.
He is the Potter; I am clay.
An edit, as of 8:56 PM.
My former colleague Lynn posted this on her Instagram account:
Well. Now we’re talking.
I finally got it.
